(Image Credit: TNA)
Last night, as I prepared to sit down and watch TNA so I could do my recap, I was hoping for a couple of things. The first thing I wanted to see was a crisp clean show. The other thing I was looking forward to was the big debut of RVD.
Needless to say, I was disappointed on both counts. So instead of doing my normal analytical recap, I decided I was going to do a little venting today.
The show starts of with some lame pyros and I couldn’t help but think I was watching an old episode of Thunder. Hogan and Abyss come out to the ring with a few things on their minds. Old Hogan tells us all that he has had enough of Flair’s shenanigans. So instead of having their big match at the end of the night, it was going to start right then and there.
This had to be one of the worst matches I have seen in years. Watching Hogan and Flair crawl around the ring was almost as painful as watching a Full House marathon.
To make matters worse, once old Hogan decided it was time to let Styles and Abyss do their thing in the ring, all of which lasted a few minutes or so. The lights go off and who do we see in the ring? Why none other than an out of shape Sting.
Sting would go on to beat up Hogan and Abyss with his black wiffle-ball bat until they were both laid out. If this wasn’t dumb enough Flair and Styles would come back in to get a few more cheap shots in.
Just when I was thanking my lucky stars that this painful display of garbage was over, Hogan then announces that they were going to have this match again at the end of the night.
What a grand opening to Monday nights! Folks, I have to be honest with you, I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to finish the show. The night would continue with more old fogies, as we got to see Nash and Scott Hall get into it a little. In this mind numbing segment, it is announced that if Hall and Sixx can win at the next PPV they will get “Fat contracts.” If their contracts are anywhere near the size of Hall’s figure, then they will wind up being very rich men!
Let’s move on to some of the other brilliant moves we saw by TNA last night. We saw the much anticipated return of RVD to TV. It started of OK; RVD came out and beat Sting in a match that lasted all of 30 seconds.
Normally that would be an issue for me but having RVD win big in his debut is expected. What transpired after that was pure nonsense. Sting not to happy with the loss decided that he would beat the piss out of RVD with his bat. This beating would go on for some time until the Oldster decided that he had seen enough.
Watching Hogan hobble down to the ring was just sad. It was only made sadder looking when Sting hit him with the bat and Hogan had to be carried back stage.
What about Jeff Hardy’s big debut? Well I guess the brass decided that the fans wouldn’t want to see Hardy until the last few minutes of the show. Hardy’s in ring action consisted of him stopping another beat down in a really lame main event match.
It is worth noting that in the main event, Hogan’s big boot looked worse than Big Dick Johnson in his thong. Let’s move on from the senior citizen for a second and talk about some of the other action we saw.
In an attempt to revamp the X-division we were treated to a triple threat match that lasted all of five minutes. The match itself was good for the time they gave them, but it seems that this is how TNA continues to roll.
Throw in a few of five-minute bouts and fill the rest in with garbage. It’s a shame because I really enjoy watching guys like Doug Williams, Daniels, and Kazz. They deserve much more time than the few minutes they were given last night.
We were also treated to another laugher of a match when Beer Money took on Jeff Jarrett in a handicap match. In this bout we pretty much saw Beer Money dissect Jarrett in the ring. I guess Beer Money’s cry for TV time was answered.
I would have much rather seen them compete in a tag bout. After all, TNA always talks about how great their tag division is. I guess they decided to not take advantage of the few things they have going for them on the biggest night they have had in years.
Probably the best match of the night was the Knockouts Tag title match. All the ladies looked solid in this match, and I was shocked that they actually gave them some time in this one.
The ladies division still continues to be a bright spot in the darkness known as TNA Wrestling. That is at least one thing I can continue to look forward to every Monday night on TNA.
All in all, this was a very bad show. We saw old wrestlers who have no business in the ring anymore, and we didn’t see enough of the young talent that TNA hypes up as much as they can. Sadly, I’m stuck reviewing this show for a while. I just hope I can make through the night with the crap TNA gives me each week.
Match recaps
Doug Williams beat Christopher Daniels and Kaz to retain the X-Division title
The Beautiful People beat Sarita and Taylor Wilde and Angelina and Tara to win the vacant Knockouts tag team title
RVD beat Sting
Eric Young beat Sean “Sixx-Pac” Waltman
Beer Money beat Jeff Jarrett
Hogan and Abyss beat Ric Flair and AJ Styles
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Wow…just..wow. This was to be their biggest night, and they laid THAT egg? Oh boy.
I found myself flipping back and forth between Raw and Impact, praying for something on Impact to keep my attention. I was grossly disappointed.
I did tune in for the main event and let’s just say it was a train wreck of the worst kind. Neither Hogan nor Flair belong in the ring any more at this point. Perhaps with regular training, Flair could pull off a run similar to his last run with WWE. Hogan, on the other hand, can’t even walk.
It was atrocious. “It’s on, brother?” Don’t make me laugh.
Raw wasn’t all that great last night, but it was a hell of a lot better than this garbage.