Cue the standard pyro and intro video (I’m coming into this just a couple minutes late) as we get set for tonight’s iMPACT broadcast. Tenay tells us that we’ll see Desmond Wolfe vs. Abyss; and Rob Terry will defend his Global Championship against Ken Anderson. Something feels wrong about that, but okay.
AJ Styles and Ric Flair make their way out, and oddly with no female accompaniment. They’re using AJ’s theme this time, not Flair’s. They recap last week’s attack on the Pope and we’re told that the Pope has a torn ligament in his ankle. AJ says that last week, the Pope came out to the house that AJ built and made it his…something unintelligible. AJ needs to work on his mic skills a little.
AJ gets it that Pope said he’d be a champion of the people, and a golden boy. AJ goes on and asks that Pope wants to claim his title? Well, according to AJ that’s not going to happen. Pope is A man, but he’s not THE man. Like Flair said, to be the man, you have to beat the man…and the man is AJ. Pope should not think he’s going to walk out and embarrass AJ, since now he won’t be walking for a while.
Flair gets on the mic, clearly upset. He says something transpired that made him crazy. He’s referencing Hogan giving his Hall Of Fame ring to “the Abyss” (not sure if the mis-speak was intentional or not). Flair says it would be like giving it to someone in the crowd, and in the process calls someone “fat boy.”
Flair says it’s crazy and continues to taunt the crowd. Flair says that Hogan is clearly not in the same Hall Of Fame as Flair, then calls out Abyss.
Abyss comes out to a rendition of Hogan’s “American Made” music, holding the ring up high. Taz says this is huge for Abyss and Tenay says there’s no more cowering or fear from the Monster.
Flair immediately jumps on the choice of music and calls Abyss “pathetic”, saying he has no words to describe it. Flair points out his ring, saying it’s real and he’s a real hall of famer. Abyss makes them all look bad.
Flair says he might have superhuman strength but he’s no hall of famer. Flair says Abyss makes him sick after having worked his whole life to earn a slot in the Hall of Fame. Abyss will only be good for shining AJ’s boots and he’s a clown, a word Flair repeats several times.
Abyss gets on the stick and says, “First of all Mr. Flair, you’re right, I couldn’t shine his shoes because I’m not a shoe shine boy. But, I’d be more than happy to remove AJ’s boots and stick them straight up your ass.” This sends Flair off the deep end, and he’s furious. Flair says he’s a god and AJ intervenes, saying he’ll take care of this.
AJ calls Abyss a pathetic piece of crap and tells him to shut up. The crowd came to see AJ, not Abyss. He asks if Abyss even looks like a champion. AJ calls Abyss a disgrace, talking about how he dresses, and calls him ugly because of the mask.
AJ tells Abyss to do everyone a favor and take the ring off, and Flair insists on giving it to AJ. AJ says that Abyss is disgracing Hogan’s name by wearing the ring. Hogan’s music hits. Taz talks about being at Hogan’s Hall Of Fame induction while Hogan makes his way to the ring.
Hogan gets on the stick and asks AJ what he knows about having a good name. Does AJ think kissing Flair’s butt and calling out Abyss and making fun of him is making him the man? Hogan calls AJ the weakest champion of all time.
Flair says “I knew it would happen sooner than later,” referring to this confrontation. Flair says he came to TNA because everything Hogan touched turns gold, but Hogan will never tell Flair what to do. Flair questions Hogan’s decision to give Abyss the Hall Of Fame ring.
Flair drops the mic and takes his jacket off, as does AJ. Taz and Tenay want to see it this fight, but I’m sure not many of us do. Flair says “let’s do this right now” as Hogan and Abyss ready themselves, then Flair and AJ bail. Taz says AJ and Ric just picked their spots.
Flair says that both of them would be laying out and that by the end of the night the Hall Of Fame ring Abyss has will be on AJ’s hand. Commercial.
First Monday Night Promo coming out of commercial…”The War is Back.” Really?
Mick is backstage, and Taz says he’s not in a good mood. Tenay says Mick is looking for Bischoff, and asks if we will see the evil side of Foley tonight. They run the card down again. Anderson faces Rob Terry for the Global Title, Abyss goes one on one with Wolfe. They also recap the situation with Abyss and the Hall of Fame ring. Time management issues, guys?
Jimmy Hart is accompanying the Nasty Boys to the ring for the opening match. Tenay takes us back to Against All Odds, where Jimmy Hart made a surprise appearance to help the Nasty Boys win. Team 3D makes their way out, and Tenay says it’s revenge time. Team 3D brought a table along. This is no DQ and the Nasties get beaten on from go.
Saggs goes into the steel steps. Knobbs has a separated shoulder, we’re told. This is a tables match apparently, since pins and submissions won’t count. Taz and Tenay are chattering about Monday, March 8.
Bubba Ray in the corner with an Irish whip. Knobbs can hardly run and they’re blaming the separated shoulder. Not sure how those two are connected. Taz says Knobbs is normally “fleet of foot” which drew a laugh from me. Bubba Ray targets the shoulder with a flying shoulder block from the ropes, then follows with an elbow to the head.
Big slam by Ray on Saggs, then Team 3D sets Saggs up for the “whazzup” headbutt. Team 3D poses a minute and the crowd yells “get the tables.” They bring a table into the ring and set up but they took too long.
The Nasties get to their feet and nail Team 3D as they turn around. The Nasties move the table to the ramp side and put a double arm drag on D-Von, thinking they were going to get him into the table. Bubba Ray moved the table though. Jimmy Hart creates a distraction by pulling Bubba Ray’s foot, allowing Saggs to toss him off the ropes as he was going for a move.
Out of nowhere, Jesse Neal attacks Jimmy Hart and steals the helmet from him, then nails Knobbs with it. Neal pitches it to D-Von, who whacks Saggs. They then put Saggs through the table with the 3D to win.
That could have been a lot worse than it was…
Mick is not happy and he’s with Bischoff, calling last week’s events a setup. Bischoff says he can’t understand the paranoia feeling that Mick has. Foley thinks it’s Bischoff’s actions that make people paranoid. Bischoff wants to focus on the end, not the process anyhow.
Abyss has Hulkamania in the palm of his hand now and Bischoff takes full credit for Abyss’ happiness. Nothing would have happened had Mick been there. Mick says he was trying to get him out of the building under a guise.
Bischoff says JB and Abyss are fine, which was Bischoff’s part of the bargain, and now Mick needs to live up to his end of the bargain and wear the suit Bischoff bought for him. Mick says he’ll consider it and leaves. Commercial.
A Knockouts contest is up next coming out of break. ODB is coming out first, and she’s returning tonight (story via wrestling websites was that she broke an implant and had to be out a while) to face Daffney. They recap last week’s situation between Tara and Daffney.
Taz calls Daffney “Zombie Hot” as she makes her way to the ring and suggests Dr. Stevie give her new meds. Tenay pushes Lockdown and the wrestling history in St. Louis, and tells us that tickets go on sale tomorrow.
ODB starts off hot and still has her flask in her hand. Shots back and forth to the opposite corners. In the split screen, Christy is talking to Tara backstage.
Tara admits she should have taken Daffney more seriously. Tara talks about how vile and ruthless Daffney is. Tara says that if Daffney wants her attention, she has it, and Daffney hasn’t heard the last from Tara. Are we setting this up as a new title feud?
Back in the ring, Daffney is working on the knee of ODB, wrapping it around the ringpost. She then grabs the stairs and slams them into ODB’s knee while it is wrapped around the post. The referee throws the match out as Daffney keeps beating on ODB’s knee with a broomstick. Dr. Stevie again comes out for the save, and ODB wins her return by disqualification.
JB is backstage with the tag champs. JB recaps the match events, including Morgan pulling the trunks to get the win, and Hernandez says they’re cool. Hernandez says that JB is trying to stir up something. Morgan says he grabbed an opportunity and didn’t do anything Hernandez wouldn’t have done.
Morgan doesn’t want to think about it, and neither should anyone else. Morgan says they’re focused on defending their titles, “come one, come all, come short and come tall, because they want to be known as the most physically dominating tag team of all time.” Hernandez says that “that’s who they are, and that’s what we do.”
We see Hall and Sixx–Pac out back and it appears they’re rummaging in the trash for something. Taz and Tenay say that Nash and Eric Young want to fight them tonight. Commercial.
Beer Money is on their way to the ring and we’ll find out what they have on their minds next. Taz wants them to bring him a beer. More commercials.
Beer Money has made their way to the ring during the break. Robert Roode says that two years ago they made the decision to form Beer Money. On that day they made a promise that each time they got in the ring they’d be the best they could, every night.
He and James built a reputation that can be summed up by the word “pride”. All they ever wanted to be is the best, and they are the greatest tag team in TNA and in all of pro wrestling.
James Storm isn’t there to have a war of words with Hogan or Bischoff, but instead to list facts. They’ve been there since the the time when the so-called veterans wanted nothing to do with TNA and they have been a part of carrying the company.
The numbers don’t lie and Beer Money has made the company a lot of money and talks about how well their merchandise sells. But for some reason, the new management has put Beer Money on the sidelines, and that doesn’t sit well because Roode needs to make money, and Storm needs Roode to make money to buy Storm’s beer.
TNA is as high as it has ever been, but to take the next step, Storm says “you’re gonna have to have a little Beer Money. If not, sorry about your damn luck.”
Cue Hernandez’s music, who makes his way to the stage with a mic. He says they don’t have to prove anything to anyone and we all know how good Beer Money really is. Just like Beer Money, Hernandez and Morgan want to be the best.
Hernandez is going to Hogan’s office, and asking for a title shot…for Beer Money. Roode says the answer is simple and is yes. Hernandez says “may the best team win” and exits.
JB is with Nash and Young backstage. They talk about the chaos of last week with Hall and Sixx. JB knows they want to fight those guys, but they don’t have contracts. Nash says they don’t need a ring or a jackass in a striped shirt; they just want to crack some skulls.
EY says they just want some TV time and the ratings will be huge. EY says they’re going to do what thousands have wanted, and that is to bust up Hall and Sixx. Nash says they repaid him for trying to get them roster spots by jumping him. The physical pain will go away but not the emotional pain.
Jarrett is backstage in Bischoff’s office and talks about the match last week. It’s going to take more than six thugs to run out Jarrett from the company he founded. He’s had to fight for everything he has and tells Bischoff to up his game.
Bischoff says he wants to apologize and Jeff interrupts with “don’t give me that crap” and about how he’s worked too hard to let this happen. Bischoff wants to be heard out, citing a hard adjustment period and he’s doing his best to adapt.
Jarrett scoffs and thinks Eric is looking for the sympathy card. Bischoff says he’s wrong about Jeff and how it took a real set of stones to throw the bat down last week, but he did the right thing. Bischoff respects that. Jeff doesn’t look thrilled.
Bischoff says, “tonight, meet me in the ring…you deserve a better opportunity than this. You deserve this, let me give this to you in front of your fans. Trust me on this one.” Jeff says “what?” If they’re going to fix it, trust has to be on both sides. Jeff says “Jarrett trust Bischoff…” and starts to walk out. Bischoff says “see you out there?” and Jeff mumbles a yes. Commercial.
We see a second promo for the move to Monday on March 8 coming out of the break.
Now a promo and video recap that highlights the power struggle between Jeff Jarrett and Eric Bischoff. Eric Bischoff makes his entrance. Tenay says we just witnessed a reflective moment, talking about how Jeff Jarrett deserves better and will get that in front of his own people.
Bischoff gets on the mic while the crowd boos. Bischoff thanks them and says he loves them. One of the things he prides himself on is that he’s man enough to admit his mistakes…and he’s made quite a few. A wide camera shot on Eric shows us the video screen that says “iMPACT Monday March 8” behind him; nice hard sell, TNA.
Jeff is perfect example of how one has to grow and learn from his mistakes. Bischoff brings Jeff out with a full ring video, music, and pyro (something he has lacked the last several weeks).
Jarrett comes to the ring and points to his ear like he can’t believe he’s hearing his music. Bischoff is politely applauding. Tenay sells the March 8 thing again and says Bischoff is calmer. Bischoff starts by saying how tough it’s been in this situation but he wants to know he can put it all behind them. He asks for something from his office from a stage hand and the woman brings the barbed wire bat.
Bischoff says about how it was the right thing to refuse to use the barbed wire bat. The problem was he didn’t do the right thing by Bischoff. That’s why there’s a problem.
Jeff doesn’t seem capable of doing what Bischoff wants. He’s going to give him one more shot to do the right thing. Bischoff hands Jeff a spatula and says “head back to catering and flip some burgers” and show the people what he’s made of.
He also puts a hair net on him, then asks if Jeff has anything to say. He suggests that Jeff could just quit and make it easy. Bischoff ends the segment by saying “happy flipping” and walks out, while Jarrett rips off the hair net. Taz and Tenay say they were wrong on the assumption of a calmer Bischoff. Commercial.
Tenay and Taz talk about how momentum is in the corner of Abyss as they head to their match with Desmond Wolfe. More commercials.
Morgan wants to know why Hernandez asked Beer Money for a challenge at Destination X. Hernandez points out that Morgan said they were ready for all challengers. Morgan agrees but wanted to start with teams like Generation Me or the MCMG, and said the “all challengers” thing because it sounded cool.
Morgan wants Hernandez to be on the same page and not issue challenges without Morgan knowing. They need to be in sync in and out of the ring and be smart in order to keep the gold.
Brian Kendrick is out next, and the winner of this match will get a shot at the X-Division title at Destination X. His opponent is Kaz. This is a huge opportunity for Kendrick and Kaz. We’re told that the Ultimate X match will be back at Destination X and the X-Division title will be defended, with one of these men in that match.
They stalk each other and tie up in a test of strength, then trade hammerlocks and arm bars. Kaz flips out of an arm bar, then in sequence nails an arm drag and a body slam by the ropes. Kaz springboards in with a leg drop. Kendrick stumbles to the corner and Kaz gets a Hardy-style delayed drop kick.
Kendrick dodges a corner charge by Kaz, and tries to roll him up for two. Kendrick then nails a jumping enzugiri kick, followed by a neckbreaker to the knee for two.
They recap Samoa Joe’s kidnapping in the split-screen. Why?! Taz has left a lot of phone messages for Joe but has heard nothing. The split screen stuff has to go.
Back to the match, Kendrick is laid out on the top rope following a couple of kicks from Kaz. Kaz goes up for him and nails the Flux Capacitor to pick up the win. He will move on to get a shot at Doug Williams for the X-Division title at Destination X.
Short match and I was highly irritated that these two could have been given more time to work had they not had so many segments with Foley and Bischoff and Jarrett and Bischoff. Time management is a serious problem tonight.
Nash and EY are taping up for their shot at Hall and Sixx, and that’s coming up later.
JB is with Abyss backstage. Abyss tells Flair, AJ, or anyone else to bring a chainsaw, a see-saw, or whatever you want to get the ring off his finger, but they aren’t going to get it.
When Hogan gave the ring to him, it gave him great power, and along with the power comes great responsibility. Hogan saw something and it gave him power he didn’t think he had. He tells them to come and get him if they want, but remember, he might come to get them. After all, he might not be the lord but he is the Monster of the Rings.
They give us a video recap the history of the Global Championship/Legends Title. This includes the recent title change. Conveniently, they cut out the part that says the iMPACT Zone and any American wrestler (read: Mr. Anderson) are not supposed to be getting title shots.
They cut back to Christy with Mr Anderson. He has his mic drop down and tells Christy to stand there and look pretty. He says “who’s the guy that’s been unstoppable since he came to TNA? Who’s the guy who has left the self-proclaimed world’s greatest wrestler in a pool of his own blood?
Who’s the guy who has brought hope and change to TNA?” Tonight, he gets his first taste of TNA championship gold, which is the first step on his way to getting to the TNA World Heavyweight Title. He admits that Rob Terry is a formidable challenge, but he’s been in the ring with guys bigger and faster than Rob Terry, and six gorillas.
He’s beaten all of them, including the six gorillas. Christy is rolling her eyes. That man, who will be the global champion, Misstteeerrrrr…Anderson…Anderson. He rushes the second one to startle Christy.
Kurt Angle is headed to the iMPACT Zone. Tenay says that Angle wants a ringside seat for the Global Championship match. They show yet another promo for the Monday night move.
Rob Terry is backstage loosening up. Magnus confronts him and says that he and Doug Williams have carried Terry for a year. Big Rob is about to find out why he shouldn’t bite the hand that feeds. He’ll soon find out that it’s better to have Magnus and Williams as allies than as enemies.
Magnus is poking Terry in the chest as he talks, and Terry grabs his finger and twists it. Terry thanks him for the advice then tells him to piss off.
Rob Terry is out first, and it’s his first title defense on iMPACT. Tenay says his alliance with the British Invasion is done, but Taz says that he’s confident and should do ok. Anderson comes out next and he stops at the top of the ramp to do his normal mic entrance. He says we are looking at the next TNA Global Champion, but first thing’s first.
Anderson asks if he’s supposed to feel sorry because he spit on some medal that was given to Kurt Angle by the widow or mother of a fallen soldier. He then pulls a dogtag out of his shirt. By this time, Angle is standing behind him and the crowd is starting to pop.
Anderson claims the tag was given to him by the widow of a fallen soldier, but they were Vietnamese. He asks the crowd if that’s okay, and they boo. Angle has a chair in hand and slams Anderson with it. The crowd wants Angle to break his ankle but Angle motions to Terry to come get Anderson.
Anderson is out cold as Terry carries him to the ring. Terry throws him in and the match starts. A simple running power slam is all Terry needs to retain the championship. Kurt Angle just robbed Anderson of an opportunity. So we’ll be seeing more Anderson vs. Angle feud in the future.
My history might be a bit off, but didn’t some of the Vietnamese fight on our side? And some have fought in wars since for us, I would think. If he meant those people, why the boos? If not, then TNA waited one week before they played the “super cheap heel heat” card. Anderson was so great last week without looking unpatriotic, but depending on context, they blew it this week.
We get looks backstage. Jarrett is in catering flipping burgers. Foley is back wearing a trench coat, and Tenay muses whether or not Foley will live up to his end of the deal by wearing the new suit bought by Bischoff last week.
Coming back, we get yet another Monday night promo.
Tenay leads us into a review of the history of the Band.
We go out back and Sixx-Pac and Eric Young see each other. Sixx looks like he’s got pajamas from Star Trek on or something. EY and Sixx confront each other and start to brawl.
Hall has a pipe and whacks Nash in the leg. They double team EY then. Hall says it is family business and EY needs to stay out of it while pressing the pipe up against EY’s chest.
Sixx knocks down EY with a spinning kick and paints “4-Life” on him. They also spray paint Nash. They say it’s just like old times and walk away.
That was so completely worth all the main-event time spent on building that up. I think it really brought closure to the feud. And if you believe all of that, I have a bridge I’d like to sell you…along with some oceanfront property in Arizona. This was a waste of airtime and you know it’s going to lead to more of the same with these players involved.
Abyss can feel the enthusiasm of all the Hulkamaniacs as he faces Wolfe next, after more commercials.
Jarrett is still flipping burgers and working in the kitchen. He’s having issues with the onions. Tenay and Taz say this is Bischoff’s way of trying to get Jarrett to quit.
Bischoff is in his office on the phone with someone and makes a cut at WWE’s guest host gimmick by calling it the dumbest thing he’s ever heard of. Mick Foley enters, still wearing the overcoat, and Bischoff says “that’s not what we spent money on.” Mick takes the overcoat off and now has the suit on, but there’s a mustard stain on the lapel. Foley says he saw Jarrett in catering, did a spit-take, and that’s how it got there.
Bischoff tells Mick to have his assistant book an etiquette coach. Mick can’t believe they want to spend the money on him, but Bischoff reiterates that Mick is an asset and he wants him addressing corporate financiers and such. Mick’s going to meet him halfway because he’s been confused on what fork to use, so he’s off to etiquette school. Bischoff is laughing.
Wolfe is out first for this next match, accompanied by Chelsea. Tenay wonders why there’s an etiquette coach for Foley. Taz says that that the necklace Chelsea is wearing is a gift from Wolfe for Valentine’s Day. We get another Monday night plug.
Abyss comes out; his music starts as his own, then switches to Hogan’s “American Made”, which makes for an odd combination. Tenay reminds us that Flair and AJ are looking to take the Hall of Fame ring from Abyss.
Collar and elbow tie up starts us off, and Abyss powers Wolfe to the corner. Wolfe goes for the knee while holding an arm bar in order to bring Abyss down. Abyss gets back to his feet, and backs Wolfe to the corner again, and this time gets a back elbow. Abyss charges but Wolfe moves out of the way and follows with a forearm. Wolfe nails a thrust punch then his running back elbow on Abyss.
He’s trying to go for the Tower of London (Taz mistakenly called it a suplex) but can’t get it. Wolfe goes for the running elbow again but Abyss gets one step ahead by catching Wolfe with a splash in the opposite corner.
Abyss gets set up to deliver a chokeslam but Wolfe comes back with that unique flying hammerlock takedown. Wolfe comes off the ropes but Abyss counters Wolfe’s intentions into the Black Hole Slam for the win.
I’m all for the push, but the booking decisions are confusing. Last week, Jordan goes over Joe, and this week Wolfe jobs to Abyss in two minutes? There has to be better selections for some of these kinds of matches. Wolfe and Joe are guys you build around, not to have job like this.
AJ and Flair make their way to the ring after the match and immediately charge the ring, turning it into a two on one situation against Abyss. Abyss is holding his own while Wolfe brings a chair in to help out, making it three on one.
Abyss does his own rendition of “hulking up” and gets Wolfe into the corner but Flair goes for chop block on the leg. AJ and Flair team up on Abyss in the corner, with Wolfe helping out. Wolfe has handcuffs, and he cuffs Abyss to the ring ropes.
Hogan makes his way out and takes shots at all three, but Flair gets the shot to the legs on Hogan. The numbers game is too much even for the Immortal One. Wolfe holds Hogan while Flair works on him.
AJ is laughing and taunting Abyss while this is going on. AJ winds up and lands a shot with the belt on Hogan. Flair is pounding on Hogan and he’s busted open. Abyss eventually hulks up again, breaks the cuffs and chases off Wolfe, AJ and Flair. Commercial.
Back from commercial, Taz and Tenay recap the situation as Abyss helps Hogan to his feet. Hogan gets on the stick and says, “hold on a minute Ric Flair, you want to interfere and stick your nose in everyone’s business? The biggest night of TNA history, March 8, you’re coming out of retirement.”
Flair goes to say how no one tells him what to do, but Hogan demands Flair’s mic be cut from the truck. On March 8, AJ and Flair will be in a match with Abyss and his partner, and Abyss has the green light to beat them from pillar to post.
AJ asks who Abyss has as a partner, saying he has no one. Hogan says Flair and AJ will be facing Abyss and Hulk Hogan. Tenay with a “holy s***!” as the crowd explodes. Tenay is selling this as “how you take over Monday night,” and Taz grabs JR’s “business is about to pick up,” saying the words were never more accurate.
I felt very let down by this episode. The past several weeks have had very good wrestling and decent promos, even with duds at the end of the night in the main event slot. Tonight, we got about a grand total of 15 minutes of wrestling action, with the balance being talk time and segments that didn’t quite get it for me.
Maybe I’m being too harsh, so feel free to let me know in the comments section. Not all of the talk was horrible, but there was just too much of it. I am just not excited about Hogan and Flair getting in the ring either. Maybe a one-time thing is ok, but I don’t think it will be that.
At least it’s not the main event of Destination X, where it would have no business being.
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A 37 year old engineer by day that enjoys writing on the side. I go back a lot of years in pro wrestling, from the old NWA/WCW days and the 80's WWF up til today with TNA, WWE, and occasionally some of the other independent federations. Primarily my scene here will be TNA, but expect a little bit of everything in terms of opinions and recaps in the world of pro wrestling from me.
I saw that lol. Hogan was clearly taken a shot at the WWE. I swear TNA looks worse worse when they pull this stuff.